Week update

28/10/08 : Jogging
29/10/08 : Swimming
30/10/08 : Movie: Tropic Thunder ... comedy with a lot of explosion scene ... I would rather the director use the money to make something more meaningful.

Went for a short seminar at work today. It is about healthy mind ... The speaker advise ppl to think positive, have time for fun and help other ppl. Need to improve on 'helping ppl' :) He also said that friends are impt in life ... Talk to ppl when you are feeling stress ...

Friend's words hurt sometime. Especially when you are sincere to a person and she dun trust you. She is protecting her friends from me as if I am a BAD GUY. That is a big letdown. This kinda friend hor ... disappointing

'Disappointment come with expectation'
I wun be disappoint if I dun care ... hahaha

Over the weekend

24/10/08

S issue come to an end le. Hope he will be more careful next time.

25/10/08

Stay at home whole day. Watch soccer and gamble ... haha

26/10/08

Went to S and V house for house visit today. Happy Deepavalli. Had lots of curry. Yum Yum. Drove S's dad car for a while. Love driving sia.

27/10/08

Went City Hall to collect jersey at 2pm. Guess who i see there ... Juliana !!! haha 6 years didnt see her le ... really grow up to be a sweet young lady ... accompany her talk cork for a while ...this makes my journey worthwhile ...

Life ...

Haiz ... life really dun reward good ppl ... one of my friend got into trouble ...
Just because of a casual chat he had with his student ...
Words are scary ... when words are passed around ... misunderstanding occurs ...
All the effort he put in ... makes him feel the pain ... when u treat ppl sincerely and get this kinda result ... this really kill passion ...
Getting sack will need to pay $50, 000 penalty ...
He is a good teacher ... let hope this little setback wont cause him his job ...
I will pray for you ... Gd luck my friend ...

Life goes on ...

48hr without someone so dear ...
Lifes really goes on ...
Still feel the ouch at the thought that she is someone else now ... in someone arms
Still miss her voice, smile and laughter ...
Still miss the shopping ... the movies
Still miss her indecisiveness

Everything of her is like printed onto my mind and I cant get them off.
I had convinced everyone that I am alright le ... but haizzz i hate it

Redhill, TBP, Chinatown, Outram ... the most memorable places ...
Everytime I passed by Outram Mrt ... I will look at the seat which we sit and examine ppl.
Those were the daysss ... =(

我以为 - 品冠

你曾说不想有天让我知道
你对他有那么好
你说会懂我的失落
不是靠宽容就能解脱

我以为我出现的时候刚好
你和他正说要分开
我以为你已对他不再期待
不纵容他再给你伤害

我以为我的温柔能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口
专情陪在你左右弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真以为奇迹会发生

我以为终究你会慢慢明白
他的心已不在你身上
我的关心你依然无动于衷
我的以为只是我以为

我以为我的温柔能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口
专情陪在你左右你不怕一切的错
也许我太过天真以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强却一天天的失望
少给我一点希望
希望就不是奢望

我以为我的温柔能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口
专情陪在你左右弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强却输的那么绝望
少给我一点希望希望就不是奢望

Over the wkend

18/10/2008:
Ah boon big day today ... Congratulation ... Hope you have a blissful marriage. They had a solemnization at Goodwood Park hotel.

Meeting Suresh they all for dinner ... drank a lot more than normal days ... Guys thanks a million ... Someone still offer to introduce gal to me ... hahaha

19/10/2008:
Got the last thing i left with her le ... PSP :)
At nite, WQ jio supper ... we had fun ... talked about a lot of thing ... They are so understanding too. One very good word is used, ****. Great word to describe woman :x

20/10/2008:
Spoke to my manager today after the Master programme. He is very supportive. If I really get the sponsorship, I will do my best and get my Master before 30.
Life goes on ... the world wont stop for anyone ...
Just keep myself busy and dun think abt her ba ...

the lovely gal

Long Long ago ... Secret Unveiled

That person she is refering to was me. I got a little feeling for her too but missed the opportunity. Why was I so stupid? Good chance never come twice ...

Thank you guys

A million thanks to:
Suresh, Valli, Glenn, Mike ... thanks for rushing down to accompany me ... I greatly appreciated your concern.

Chernleng, Chengsiong for listening to my nonsense ...

People ... I will get over this very fast ... You will see a brand new me soon ... I promised!!!

Letting go Day 2

I was looking forward to the movie date with F ... too bad all over le

I couldnt work for the whole day.
Not that I didnt expect it to come ... just that I didnt expect it to come so fast ...
Everything that I did cannot compete to the thing he did ... I lose it so easily ...
I wana slowly let go and hope that time can ease everything ... BUT
things dont go as expected.
I gone through a lot with her ... Just as she is seeing light in her life ... the person she sees is not me.

Why is heaven so unfair to me?
I worked hard. I put in effort. And ppl can just took her away so easily. I bet the whole world can see what I had done. What so meaningful about this life? I had always ask ppl to work for what they want ... God will help ppl who help themselves ... BUNCH OF RUBBISH ...

I am not expecting a lot ... just simple love and respect from someone I love. Simple ... I am a simple person ... very simple ...
Little thing can make me very happy ...

This does not help me in moving on from her ... this only make me stuck there ...
Totally STUCK.

Letting go ... Day 1

3rd week anniversary since 25 Sept

I am moving on le ...
Didnt really think of her much in the day time but she called ...
she asked whether I am free tml ... she wana watch movie ... i say "tml then say"
She was not on my mind for quite a long time ...

But when the night came ... nabeh ... siao liao
Hahaha still concern of her la ... just called her to ask her go back early ...
Still will miss her ... wana know her whereabout ... hope that she take care of herself
Dear ... pls dun let ppl worry le ba ... I cannot move on if u r still insensible.

Getting use is the word to use ba ... I will get use de ... I can do it !!!
I love her but she dun love me ...
That just too bad.

Another bad day ...

Hi ... I have got a happy half day ... F was so concerned what appointment I have today ... and she said can meet me for dinner tonite ...

at 2.45pm tio fly a big plane again ... except that this time is earlier ... she is meeting schoolmate to buy textbook from her ...
I was like so dispensible ... any Tom, Dick and Harry can come into our way and disrupt me meeting her.

Am I being very irritating and irrationale? Loving a person make me an idiot and a fool. I was very taken for granted. A lot of ppl is telling me this too. I am really damn fan jian. Cannot stand myself liao. Wish that I can just leave this place and go to one where ppl appreciate. I think that she is feeling stressed meeting me. Being with me is hard ba because I am hard to please. That is like the way her bf treat her ba, dispensible and unimportant. Want then meet dun wan you can fucked off. She tio once before, why is she doing it to other ppl?

Retribution? What I did to deserve all these pain?

The more plane u get flied, the more fear u have ... 2 planes in a week ... How can I take this shit?

I think God is giving me a direction le. I should give up and move on. Thank you.

Things are getting bad ...

I got fly a big aeroplane by F. Agreed to have dinner with me. Just as i was going to leave work then she say cancel. Fucking angry. After a long long time of angry then she tell me her fren with her, she cannot go meet me. Can she just tell me earlier?

I called Rin and meet her for dinner. She is such a nice person. 1 call and she is there. Really appreciate that. I treat her to Pastamania. :)

Got very weird feeling ... feel like I am falling back to my old self again ... God please help me ... that is really bad. I dont wan to get emotional. I am the happy, jovial person.

是你的就是你的... well said well said ...
Looks like I done my best le ... the rest is up to God le ... I give up ... I cannot fight fate and destiny. Thank you for letting me know this.

Weekend

Saturday:
Went to Irene jie house for housewarming... her house is so nice ...
although small but well decorated and designed...
meet suresh they all for pool and dinner as usual...

Sunday:
Went to play soccer ... didnt really have any good game
F suddenly called me ... she is in deep trouble lo ... her grandma wana chase her back home ...
Stupid she, went to club at 1am and was not back since then ... no wonder grandma is angry ...
I bet her granny is very worry ... gal who stay over are bad gal ... i agreed to certain extent ...
sometime i could not stop worrying when she go for stay over too ...
I accompany her to IMM for lunch and help her think of some idea to tackle the grandma ... she bought a bag ...
Hope that she will be well

Supper with F

Meet F for supper today ...
She give me such a simple feel today ... she is back to norm le ...
Jia you my dear ...

a bit of touch

From F blog:

" okie, i wrote this post specially for my dear frenn, Nickyy.hahs.

u told me to write a reflection,and i tot i might as well write u a short post here.

i wanna thank you for everything,
every single thing u have done for me.
from the late nite chats, to smses, to outings.

u been through it all wif me.
u stood by me when the i felt the whole world is
moving away.

when i was down, u encouraged me, pushing me to
the top

of cuz, dere are times i got alil too full of myself
and u bring me down to earth
in case, my head hits the ceiling
=X

u heard my cries, saw my fears, witnessed the
downright lousy me
and u never gave me up.

i'm thankful, i'm contented, to know a friend like you
and i truely appreciates it.

smile Nicky, not for me.
but becos u deserve it all.
=) "

Sicky Puppy

7 Oct: MC at home ... sleep for a long long time ... I love the flu medicine ... force me to rest ... haha

8 Oct: Unofficial 1/2 day off ... I couldnt take it ... needed rest to recover faster ... went to meet F for a while and pass her some flu medicine too ... hope I didnt spread to her lo ... poor thing

Human are weird

There are 3 group of ppl ard
1) those who encourage and support me for whatever I do.
2) those who try to discourage me and show me the fact.
3) those who didnt ask me and just be with me whenever I need them.

Thanks to all of you. Only I can help myself. I wanted to show ppl that sincerity, love and patience paid off. Please dun disappoint me GOD. These are the things which you are teaching your sons and daughter.

5 Oct

Went to work today ... did my part 4 and some modelling ...
Meet F to go Queensway, bought myself a pair of leather shoe and F a cap.
Hope she like it.

I am not loving her the way I usually do. But I am always in love with her =)

Wkend

Friday 3-10-08
The teambuilding day was a success. So happy to see my colleague enjoying themselve. At least 1 thing is done. It is not easy being a game IC =)

Didnt think of F a lot today. GOD had really help me ba. Being in a r'ship is not about thinking of the person all the time. Just be there when she need you. Be willing to give. I am happy with her now. 1 day I will be ready for rship. I am always the one not ready and not her :)

Saturday 4-10-08
Meet F for dinner and 画皮 today. The ending is nice. Then F go to Clarke Quay to have fun. I went to meet my usual gang for beer and soccer. Drank more than normal. Ask F to call me when she get home. As usual, that idiot didnt bother hahaha. I know nothing gonna happen to her one la.

End of this blog

I kan kai liao ...
I dun wan this 2nd chance anymore ...
1 wk is a gd enough time to see her effort in loving me ...
I believe there are times that she really love me ... but not very often ...
There are times that she feel that I want Nic to talk to me ...
There are times that she wanted to go out with me only ...

Let hope she is happy

Time to focus on my work ...
Good frens ... I need u all again ...

Happy 1 wk Anniversary

Don't think she rem also.
So nice to have someone to love ...
Ppl always say, loving is painful and I totally agree ...
Maybe I am just too sado, wanted to hurt myself so much =)
Companion ba ... nothing more I can ask for now ... wanted her to slowly feel her way ...
Who don't enjoy being showered with attention and love?
I do also and my time will come

I am expecting very little le. But I hate being ignored.
I spoilt her totally... haha
My way of loving is very wrong ... cannot treat someone you love too gd de ...
I always tell my friend that, but I cannot control myself =)
Since I am wrong then let it wrong ba ...
Let her be the little princess for whenever I can hold on ...

Love is:
i) sharing your life with the special someone
ii) caring and motivate each other when they are down.
iii) always be there for them and dont let them feel abandon/unwanted
iv) letting the person feel that they are loved

I am too optimistic about love and I will continue to be optimistic. No point living for anything less than the 'best'. I will continue to work hard for what I deserved. This is me.

Thursday Blue

Went to play pool with fren last nite, had some beer
Then chatted with F from 2.15 till 3.45 ...
I think I exhausted myself ... took a half day leave to rest at home ...
I need a holiday break ... but I dun think I can get it till Nov le. Sian =(
Suddenly so much thing to organise at work ... all the minor minor details need to take care of ...
Hope things dont cock up on the actual day ... stressed

Oct 2 2008

Let her be alone for the time being
The more u fear losing, the easier u will lose them

Just let her go and do what she want ba ... pray that she did nothing drastic ... PRAY PRAY
GOD please look after her.

She had suffered too much and I really want to see her happy. Please give all my happiness to her ba. I can survive de.

Work stress

Work seem to be so much now lo. Suddenly a whole load of work came rushing at me. Hope I can take them all.

Meet F today ... and we went to Chinatown point to eat her fav Subway. She bought a shirt and a jumper at chinatown. Time spent with her is always happy and enjoying. She is photogenic, keep taking pic of herself ... hahaha

Now I know the meaning of losing control. Haha first time in my life I lose control of myself.

I am so in love with this gal.

Tml gonna go back to office. Sian!!!!